Spiritual Q and A – Falling in Love with a Teacher

Dear shakti,

What if you fall in love in with your teacher? How is it possible to make the difference between the two: the master and the lover?

Kind regards,

shakti’s response is below in red.

Dear “A”,
It is not rare that a student may have strong feelings and attraction to her* spiritual teacher. When a teacher carries immense prana, (energy or life force), he may glow with a charisma that may be very attractive. If the teacher experiences oneness he may generate a field of the energy of unconditional love around him which the student will long to bask in permanently. If the teacher lives a healthy and clean lifestyle he may radiate physical beauty which appears to shine from within.

In addition, the teacher becomes the provider for the hungry student. He holds the most nutrition (“food for thought”) that the student craves. As a provider of wisdom, depth, and direction, the teacher may present the ultimate parent figure that most of us always yearn for but never had. When these exceptional qualities affect the student (who is in a constant state of lacking energetically) the only thing the student wishes for is to merge with her teacher. When the student finds herself physically attracted to her teacher an internal conflict arises between the “ordinary” feelings on a man-woman level and the wish to keep the connection outside and above the ordinary.

There is no need to separate the master from the lover. Masters often conduct their teaching to their students with the passion of a lover even when physicality is not involved. At the same time lovers should take the role of being a master:

Mastering the art of making love,
Mastering the art of serving,
Mastering ones own lust, etc.

If the Master/teacher brings his high frequency vibration to the love affair and is able to lift his student’s/lover’s energy to his frequency, this relationship will be free of:

Emotional abuse,
Pain and suffering.

The problem arises when the teacher lowers his frequency to the student’s vibration and the relationship originates from an engagement of two small needy minds. This can end with pain and heartbreak, as the student and teacher are not in the same place of power. The student is often in a fragile and confused state.

Sometimes the so-called “teacher” never operates from a high frequency of consciousness. The teacher simply appears wise, but is actually just as needy as his student. This is when you hear about cases of spiritual teachers preying on the weak and gullible disciples for their own selfish satisfaction.

The bottom line is:

It is pretentious to say that a spiritual teacher should not have a love affair with a student, as life is a dance and most teachers interact mainly with students.

If you engage in a love affair with your teacher, make sure it is a master who walks his talk; otherwise you will end up with a low frequency love affair that brings about all the suffering and pain you already experienced in your past relationships.

If and when you do engage with a teacher romantically do not dismiss yourself by following blindly without questioning, as you are not less a master yourself.

True love will never cause pain.


*As the question came from a female my reply is from the point of view of love affair between a male teacher and a female student. Please feel free to reverse the sexes in any way it suits you as the spirit is the same for all other combinations (female teacher, male students etc), as long as all those involved are adults and coherent!

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