Intimacy and passion are what most people wish to keep throughout their relationship. However, intimacy and passion are the first things we let slip between our fingertips because it takes a conscious effort to nourish them. Intimacy and passion demand attention and awareness, the same two disciplines required for practising meditation. Spiritual people will often put so much effort into the practice and discipline of daily meditation, so why not have your love relationship practised with the same care? Make your relationship your meditation and your lover the focus of your concentration.
The nature of the mind is to get excited with a new stimulation. Shortly after, it gets used to it. Next, it gets bored with it and as a result it does not give it attention anymore and no longer sees what was so exciting in the first place.
This is how we usually function with our lovers. Our lovers who used to occupy our senses and thoughts with intensity become part of our daily routine, therefore we do not see them anymore, and consequently we stop telling our lovers how much they enhance our moments. When we do acknowledge their presence, it is usually a calendar- acknowledgment. There are five days in the year when lovers, partners and spouses make an extra effort, searching for creative ways to show their beloved one how much they appreciate having them in their life:
And when feeling guilty about something
Unfortunately, the rest of the 365 days of the year are consumed by routine that is nibbling into the passion, the intimacy and the love expressions that were flowing so spontaneously through us when we first engaged with our beloved one. The spontaneity is slowly fading into automatic affection gestures we make while our mind is often somewhere else. (A quick kiss before we leave the house in the morning, while we are wondering where we are going to stop for a quick coffee before work). This is when our moments with our beloved one turn from extraordinary to ordinary.
Ordinaritus is the virus that kills lovers’ passion and intimacy. The natural remedy that keeps the immune system of an intimate relationship strong enough to stop this virus from penetrating is intentional creativity. The idea beyond intentional creativity is to demonstrate to your lover, in a creative way, on a daily basis, that you see them.
It is intentional as it may not always flow with ease when you are dealing with mundane demands. Ask any artist, no matter if they are a writer, a painter or an actor, and you will find out that their creativity is not always available on hand and still they need to get into the studio and spin the wheels of their creative instrument.
See your love relationship as an infinite canvas and your lover as the subject of your creativity.
Make an ongoing list of ideas to express your love and passion for your lover.
Play her/him a special song
Write her/him a few words
Leave her/him a flower on the pillow
Call unexpectedly and say how you feel about her/him
Place a surprise into her/his bag
Prepare your lover a bath
Read her/him something special or interesting
Send a special email
Leave a loving note on the entrance door, in their shoe or on their car’s windshield
Ask her/him how they feel and be there fully to listen
Go for a walk together
Creativity is the seed for a spiritual love to sprout from on a daily basis. Implementing your creative attention daily is like watering a seed so it grows to become a beautiful flower.
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