How to be a great parent, for your unconceived child?

How to be a great parent, for your unconceived child?Yesterday I went to one of the giant electronic stores, in the mall, to buy a headset for my cellphone. When I told the sweet geek salesman, that I am looking for a special headphone that will stop the microwaves from penetrating my brain, he laughed with a good heart and said “what difference will it make anyway?” “Right now”, he said, “we are both getting hit by endless waves from all the people using cellphones around us. On top of it, wireless from all the buildings around, cut through us”… Then he continued “the whole city is wired, the whole world is wired. Either you make it or you don’t make it” he said while smiling.

I fully understood where he’s coming from. He is already accepting the price that we are paying for communicating within seconds with the other side of the globe. He already gave up on the possibility of spinning the wheel back to what now are faraway fading memories, of a healthier-slower environment to live in. For the youngsters there are not even memories about the reality before the Hi-Tech as they are born into a wired reality. Many of us, as “Greenpeace” as we may be, if honest, are in great doubt that we can ever go back and live our lives without being “connected.”

We are immersed in an environment that is not really suitable for human beings and there is no way out. If we remove the artificial shield we created with our genius innovative minds, we won’t survive, as we do not know how to live any more in the old natural environment we came from. If we do not remove the artificial shield we may not survive either, as we created an environment that consumes our planet, and inevitably, our physical bodies.

I left the store and walked in the rain, thinking about the surreal science-fiction world we live in. A young pregnant woman that was walking on the street caught my attention. She was about 35 years old. She was beautiful, sweet and proud to show her pregnancy. She was glowing from love to her unborn baby. I was watching her, thinking, “what a huge responsibility it is for a parent, these days, to bring a child to this harsh environment we created on planet earth.”

As a loving, potential parent, you may want to some time contemplate on some of the below listed concerns, BEFORE conceiving your child and bringing another human being into the new physical world we created with the power of our evolutionary desire for comfort.

  • We are bringing a child to an environment where the sun, that all livings on earth depend on, is becoming harmful. It means our children probably won’t be able to play naked in the sun like we did…
  • We are bringing a child to an environment where food is saturated with poison and chemicals, on top of being genetically modified. Our food is what often generates endless conditions as skin disease, allergies and cancer.
  • We are bringing a child to an environment where water, the essence of life, is becoming a hazard. Water is either polluted, acidic or packed in harmful plastic containers.
  • We are bringing a child to an environment with poor quality air that turns a rare condition such as Asthma to be an epidemic disease. In England, every fifth child has Asthma. The reason for it is a combination of pollution, food chemicals, overuse of medications, and stress.
  • We are bringing a child to an environment that is so fast and so stressful for the human nervous system that many human beings are losing their ability sleep. Insomnia, which used to be an old age symptom, is spreading throughout the whole of humanity as a result of fried nervous systems that are permanently stuck in a “fight or flight” mode.
  • We are bringing a child to an environment that overstimulates and aggravates a nervous system that was never designed to process the amount of information we perceive in one single day. Fried nervous systems turn people to be anxious and fearful. Panic attacks in all their forms and variations are not anymore a struggle of the few; it strikes all ages from young kids to elderly. No income level nor education or social status can protect people from having panic attacks or feeling overwhelmed by reality. It strikes humans all over the globe.
  • We are bringing a child to an environment that it is so demanding that is pushing people into endless forms of nervous breakdowns or shuts them down into depression as a defence mechanism.
  • We are bringing a child to an environment whose viruses and bacteria are getting stronger and more harmful to the human body as a result of the overuse of antibiotics and other non-holistic medications. Wherever you turn your head somebody is fighting a cold flu or stomach flu or head flu…
  • We are bringing a child to an overpopulated environment. The resources to support humans and all other beings on earth are decreasing rapidly.
  • We are bringing a child to an environment that we ourselves may be struggling with… some more than others but everyone to a certain extent.

Some of the arguments of having children are:

  • No matter what, the race must continue!
  • Having children has nothing to do with reasoning! You just DO it!
  • I would like my genes to continue …
  • I have so much love to give…
  • Having a child is such a joy that all challenges shrink in comparison to the experience of being a parent…
  • Having a child will take me out of my selfishness…
  • A child will be the fruit of our love
  • Having a child will bring me closer to experiencing unconditional love…
  • The future will get better soon…
  • MY child will be strong and healthy, calm, relaxed and spiritual so she won’t be part of the above negative outlook of reality…
  • The world needs more children that are coming from spiritually evolved people like us!
  • I have no choice, I am in a relationship and that is what I am expected to do.
  • It will kill my parents if I don’t bring them grandchildren…
  • I do not want to get older and be lonely…
  • Who will take care of me when I am old if I do not have children?

If your argument for bringing a child to our present reality is one of the above list or a variation of it, I would be curious to find out what reasons can be greater than the wellbeing of a child? ;-)

For the children that have already arrived to the physical world we should be fully committed to support, protect, nourish and love. For the sake of our children that are already here we should be optimistic and proactive about the future.

But for the sake of the children that are not yet in the flesh, for them we may need to be more realistic than optimistic, as there are enough statistics that show that our planet is not anymore an altogether friendly environment. Even when we take the responsibility for our planetary situation, it does not change the fact that humanity is already suffering endless conditions, symptoms and diseases. Being strong, healthy, and physically-mentally balanced, is not the “normal” state of being any more.

Maybe as a collective, we should wait a moment, BEFORE we turn our strong thoughts , feelings, desires, wishes and dreams to have a baby, and ask ourselves: “are our reasons to bring new children to the physical world stronger than the children’s health and wellbeing?”

Another question is: As spiritual people, can we allow our evolutionary drives and instincts to duplicate ourselves, to overwrite our awareness, clarity, and mindfulness?

You are the master. No one can tell you what to do. The concerns above are for the purpose of expanding one’s awareness about our motives when it comes to having children while our environment is turning to be a trap. If after contemplating on the above concerns you still have what feels to you great reasons to have children, then you will be acting with the full power of awareness.

Love Shakti

2 Responses to “How to be a great parent, for your unconceived child?”

  1. Georgia

    Over the last year or so I have been asked a few times if I intend to have children and my answer has been “At the moment, I don’t think so”. This is usually met with shock or disapproval. Seems if you’re a woman a lot of people just expect you to reproduce, or are incredulous that you wouldn’t “want children”.
    However, the things you listed as a suggestion of what to contemplate before having children are the exact reasons I question whether I ever will.
    This world is not a place I feel I would be able to provide the quality of life my child would deserve.
    Thank you for writing this and bringing to light how important it is to be fully aware before making a truly life changing (for you and your child) decision.
    I fully support the joy some people feel to bring life in to the world, and I love the children in my life to bits, but it doesn’t mean having kids feels right for everyone, myself included.

  2. shakti

    Thanks for sharing, Georgia.

    Unlike in religions, on the spiritual path there is never the absolute way of being or acting. Unlike in religions on the spiritual path no one can tell anyone what to do, the responsibility is always in the hands of the seeker.

    But when it comes to having children even spiritual seekers that have mindfulness and with awareness often go on automatic evolutionary pilot ;-) and having children without much contemplation.

    It is important to remind the ones that are in hesitation, that even in such taboo as reproduction, if one is spiritual, once needs to follow his/her authentic decision or intuition, or follow their true feelings, and create their own reality even if it is not supported by the general tribe .

    Hug to you


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